Secrets hold a certain degree of power. In the case of sexual abuse, that power feels more like a imprisoning force. Secrets of sexual abuse make us feel trapped and alone, and often afraid of so many what-ifs.
Additionally, keeping sexual abuse a secret seems safer, less painful. We fear telling someone what happened because they may see us differently. We fear breaking up our family (especially when a family member is the abuser). We fear no one will believe us. We fear having to face the abuser and getting in a he said-she said situation. We fear reliving the details of our abuse.
There are many reasons we don’t tell, but consider these reasons why we need to tell:
- It alleviates the burden of carrying the secret alone.
- It opens the door to start getting help and healing.
- We find others who are similarly suffering.
- We can stop someone else from being abused by our abuser.
- The secret loses its power over you.
Often, sharing your story can be a double-edged sword, good and bad. Find someone you can trust and let them know what happened to you. Stop letting someone’s agency–their crime against you–hold you hostage. There is strength in numbers. Please, don’t carry this undue burden alone. You will find relief in finally telling someone.
One of the purposes of this site is to allow readers to share their stories and gain support from each other. Perhaps this will be your starting point of breaking the chains that keep you quiet and fearful. If you feel like you’d like to share your story, please use the “contact/submit a story” tab, and we’ll go from there.
You can do it. You can heal.